What is the craziest thing your golden retriever has eaten?

I can think of a few things that Tucker has destroyed that I just couldn’t figure out WHY!??  My bottle of thyroid medication (which resulted in an overnight stay at the vet), my daughter’s contact lenses, and the “only certain parts” of underwear.  (some of you may know what I mean here…what the heck is THAT all about?)

I wanted to share a post from fellow blogger at Justsomedish, called “Sh*t my dog eats“:

“I have a 15 month old English Golden Retriever named Bodhe. He is my My Boo Bear, my Monster, also known as “Hey A$$hole” (my husband’s usual choice), or the Furry Garbage Can. He is my little Prince Joffrey, if you will.* He is our pride and joy and our weapon of mass destruction. My boy has a special talent of destroying the evidence of his kills by ingesting it. All of it.

This includes the squeaker, the stuffing,  the thread, the buttons, and even the fuzzy outer shell. My house is a virtual graveyard of dog toys from Christmas’ past.  

“This toy is a 10 on the dog-proof toy scale!”

“Oh really?” I say to the apparent heir to Cesar Milan’s dynasty at my local pet supply, “Because the last indestructible toy was drawn, quartered and gutted in the time it took me to throw out the packaging!”

Yeah, so until the thing is actually Honey Badger proof, I am going to stick with the rope toy from Target’s dollar bin.

Bodhe is a medieval master of dismemberment, and it truly is a site to behold. Unlike my little Eskimo dog Tahoe, he has no strategy or finesse. Tahoe is the surgeon and Bodhe, the savage.  He tears at his prey with the same tenacity of a kid opening the biggest present under the Christmas Tree. All while happily swallowing the evidence only to show up 24 hours later in the front yard as poop art.

List of conquests:

  1. Two dog beds- and one hanging on for dear life by duct tape.
  2. Tuffy Dog (a #9 out of 10 on the indestructible scale) shark, and Ring. Both were destroyed within one hour.
  3. Single-doggedly committed  a genocide of the menagerie of plush toys, including all of Tahoe’s.
  4. 3 hair clips and countless hair ties
  5. A kitchen “chip clip” which was discovered as a large chunk of bright blue plastic in his poop art.
  6. 2 refrigerator magnets (what kind of creature actually eats magnets anyway?)
  7. A battery…yes, A BATTERY!
  8. An ink pen
  9. Book of matches (this morning’s conquest while I took a 3 min shower)
  10. One tube of Blistex, two Zambeezi lip balms and a $15 tube of Muriad lip gloss
  11. A partially identified beloved Christmas ornament
  12. Two welcome mats and the underside of the living room rug
  13. What can only be described as ” The entire bulb of garlic incident”.
  14. A Keirig K Cup of Medium roast coffee followed by the longest night of our lives.
  15. A kitchen corner full of spackling compound to replace the original corner that he ate in the first place)
  16. An entire roll of toilet paper
  17. Cement-like mud that had to be hand scraped off the roof of his mouth while on a hike.
  18. All the leaves that fell of our 2 front yard trees this fall…and I mean every single one of them.
  19. Various important shopping receipts and the reason I still possess a really stinky lotion from Bath & Body Works.
  20. A pair of apple ear buds
  21. Approximately 10 – 40 pairs of socks. Is there a blood test to detect toxic levels of cotton available?But who’s counting right?He is never to be trusted. Ever. He spends any unsupervised time in a fortress of metal with two locks to contain his thirst for search and destroy missions. Our game plan to avoid these ingestions includes a daily full security sweep of the house for any suspicious items that would make the secret service look like Keystone Cops. Somehow he always finds a nugget either in the form of a discarded cotton swab or paper clip.My hope is that one day he will outgrow this obsession and get a hobby like vacuuming (is there a scholarship out there for ultimate fetch?) In the mean time, I would suggest buying stock in a Gold Toe brand socks because I’m predicting a major spike in sales this second quarter.hey-bodhe

* this will make total sense to any Game of Thrones fan.”

End of blog post….

Photo:  Rumpy Pumpy - Lisa Vanderpump

Photo: Rumpy Pumpy – Lisa Vanderpump

What is the strangest, or most costly thing your dog/dogs have destroyed?

11 thoughts on “What is the craziest thing your golden retriever has eaten?

  1. My Golden is actually very good. It was my golden Lab mix that was destructive – multiple throw pillows, socks (given on that), shoe (my ex-husbands LOL), a poinsetta, a hollow-milk-chocolate Easter bunny, multiple toys (only thing I could get her was a Nyla-Bone) and the worst: My electric blanket – it was any older one w/ the bundles on the inside w/ cases – she ate thru the blankets, devouring one of the electrical circuits – while the bed was plugged in! (But thankfully NOT turned on) Loved her to death but what a nightmare!!! Miss her gobs – she went the the bridge at the ripe age of 14 some 14 years ago. 🙁

  2. LOL unfortunately I can relate! I thought my dog pooped blood one day and then looked closer… it was red lettering “12-24 months”. He kept eating my son’s socks until, after trying everything else, I put Tabasco sauce on one. Happy to report he doesn’t eat socks anymore.

  3. The equation when it comes to dogs seems to be that they are more likely to eat something the worse that thing is for them. They really know how to maximize their mischief time.

  4. One pound of freshly ground starbucks. Couple of hours after ingesting he was up the stairs down the stairs up the stairs. I said uh oh coffee has kicked in prompting over nite stay at the vets. They said he smelled so good.

  5. Our 11 year old rescue golden Brooks somehow got into a corn cob. Unfortunately, the surgery to remove it from his intestines cost $3000! Good news, he did fine after the surgery. But I couldn’t bring myself to ever buy corn on the cob again!

  6. my 2 year old lab mix gets toilet paper rolls out of the bathroom trash. if i have a napkin (used) on the table she eats that, too, or tears it to pieces. luckily she doesn’t destroy anything important. 🙂 my golden never destroyed anything, but loved spicy food, even jalapenos.

  7. 1.5 lbs of frozen ground beef, and the ziploc bag it was in, followed almost immediately by an entire frozen pepperoni pizza, wrapper and all.

    A head of garlic (vet trip)

    An aluminum foil pan (vet trip)

    An entire Wilson football (vet trip)

    A box of Kleenex (including the box)

    The pockets out of 2 pairs of my khaki shorts (I was dumb enough to leave dog training treats in the pocket)

    More used tissues, napkins and paper towels than I could ever count

    As for socks, I don’t know if he is eating them, or hiding them, but he definitely takes them and I never see them again.

  8. My Dad’s hearing aid, back in May of 2005. After a call to the pet poison hotline, a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, and a bowl of milk, Shadow gave us back the hearing aid — along with bits and pieces of the backyard — and spent the rest of the day in misery. Sadly we lost my Dad to lung cancer that November, but Shadow’s still going strong at 9-1/2.

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